so here i am with my first blog entry. it comes at an interesting time considering tonight was the night that i had the privilege of installing the new officers for the 2012 school year, meaning my term as officer is over, and since i'm studying abroad in the spring, i got to say good-bye to the chapter and have my senior say. i knew it would be tearful considering the emotional roller-coaster this past year has been and well, i'm just an emotional person. the task of being president was daunting and to be honest, i felt a little (ok, a lot) in over my head and very insecure about what my job entailed. i knew i wanted to do well, i knew it was going to be busy, and i knew i had an incredible team that was going to be wading through this with me, i just didn't know how incredible they would prove to be.
this year was busy to say the least. most of the time i didn't feel like God knew what He was doing by putting me in charge of a group of women and to be honest, i wondered if i made a mistake by saying yes to this job. i was scared, i was intimidated, i wanted to make everyone happy but i knew that was never going to happen. on top of that, my insecurities came out big time. 170 girls looking to me for instruction, for direction, and i didn't think most of them even wanted me in my position. lucky for me i got to be reminded through God's word and other people's encouragement that He knew exactly what He was doing by letting this happen. not to say i understand it completely but i know i definitely learned some wonderful lessons throughout this past year. one of the biggest ones came in the form of the deep rooted friendships i formed with my executive committee. relationships that wouldn't have happened if i hadn't said yes to joni 13 months ago when she asked me if i would accept the position of president.
i learned the lesson of grace; they saw my weaknesses and did not flaunt them, they encouraged me, laughed with me, helped me, and gave me more grace than i deserved or can even comprehend. they saw me broken, they saw me hurting, they saw when i was terrified and when i gained confidence. what means the most is that they supported me and that means more than they could ever know. they let me know that it was okay to not be perfect, to not know all the right answers- that they didn't know all the right answers either. we are broken, imperfect people walking through life together trying to figure this thing out. while i still might not understand why life happens the way it does, i do know that God was good in letting this happen. He is good all the time, but for Him to purposely put those 8 people in that chapter to walk with me, He showed me He was in control, He loved me, and He was going to put them in my life to lean on during this year and learn from and love on and what a year it has been.
and now a quote from one of my favorite books (also on my facebook info section thing). seriously a must read book from shauna niequist called cold tangerines. check it.
"friendship is acting out God's love for people in tangible ways. we were made to represent the love of God in each other's lives, so that each person we walk through life with has a more profound sense of God's love for them. friendship is an opportunity to act on God's behalf in the lives of the people that we're close to, reminding each other who God is. when we do the hard, intimate work of friendship, we bring a little more of the divine into daily life. we get to remind one another about the bigger, more beautiful picture that we can't always see from where we are."