growing pains.

as i'm writing this, i'm realizing that this is EXACTLY 4 weeks to the hour since we arrived in this incredible city. ……..moment of silence……… this is so weird that it has already been a month. i know we always say time flies but its true- it has FLOWN by and it has been such a roller coaster, which leads me to my first emotional blog post. feel free to stop reading if you don't want to know about all of this.

so i had coffee with one of my friends from lubbock before we left and i told her what i've been told by people who have studied abroad before me that kinda made me nervous. they said "you will come back being a COMPLETELY different person, you will grow so much…." blah dee blah. my sweet friend jaree said- they're right, you will grow so much, but you will grow more into the person God wants you to be. that has stuck with me ever since and let me tell you know, it is my hope going forward into the coming months. they told us at orientation that it was normal to go through a cycle of emotions while you are here- the honeymoon stage when you just LOVE everything about florence and you're just so happy to be here and its all wonderful and then you cycle into frustration and being homesick and then back to being excited, and on and on… i can honestly say i have cycled through every stage probably three times at this point but it has been such a sweet, sweet time. it's easy when times are good to thank God for it and its also easy to forget to even acknowledge that He is the Giver of all good things. it's during the growing pains that God has brought me to my knees and I have hungered and thirsted to be near to Him. that has been what most of this first month has been- growing pains. i know it's because He's forming me into who He wants me to be. i know that i am the clay and He is the potter, although i live my life so often as if the roles are reversed. i really thought all along this study abroad experience was going to be for ME but really, it's been a time that the Lord has showed me once again how sovereign He is in all things, even the decisions i think i'm making for myself.

so if you've been keeping up with my blog or Facebook, you have seen that my mom and second mom (her best friend) were here for the first week of my stay in florence. my mom is an incredible woman and if you have been blessed to come in contact with her you will agree with me. she is so kind, and the love of Christ pours from her. she would do anything for me, she encourages me, she lets me call her everyday and never acts annoyed, she gives advice (even if i don't always ask her for it), she is supportive, is proud of her kids no matter what, etc. etc. so when she left, it was actually really hard. a lot harder than i'd like to admit. like, a homesickness that a 21 1/2 year old shouldn't be feeling when she's in freakin italy. but what the Lord did through those few weeks following her leaving was bring me to His Word and give me a desire to be near to Him because I felt so out of my element being this far away from home and i felt so overwhelmed. to summarize, He reminded me through those mornings that He is the only one who can truly comfort me, bring me peace, satisfy the overwhelming feeling i felt. i was reminded that He has given me exactly what i need for each day, a Rock to stand on, a Father to trust and hold on to, and the hope of heaven. dang.

another way He has shown His sovereignty was in bringing the friends He has into me and katie's lives. the first week here was great and we met a couple people from orientation but we were with my mom and Amy for most of our free time which didn't include going out with everyone every night so relationships didn't really grow. it was something i prayed a lot about since me and katie found out we were living together, just the two of us, in our apartment. we were excited of course but we knew it would be a little harder to meet people since we didn't come with 30 people from our school and didn't have 4 other roommates to meet people through but the Lord has just been so faithful to provide some awesome girls to get to share this experience with. we have had incredible conversations, have laughed, haven't cried yet, but have made some fabulous memories already and i'm super excited to see how the rest of the semester goes. lots more memories to be made, trips to be taken to the secret bakery, margaritas to be enjoyed at tijuana, dinners to be cooked, conversations to be had. He has been in control from the second i stepped off the plane and has showed me that there is more to this experience than learning how to live in another culture and He will continue to teach me in these coming months. He is moving and its incredible to see His power at work here.

life is beautiful in the laughter and in the growing pains and He uses every little thing to form us into who He wants us to be.

what a sweet and peaceful feeling.